How important is looks? Let’s just say that after doing the research at the beginning of this chapter, people are faced with a difficult choice: plastic surgery or suicide? First, for the sake of the men and women among us whose looks are below a 10, let’s deal with the bad news: looks matter a lot!
Remember? In high school, you asked yourself what your date looked like and your best friend said, “Oh, she’s got a great personality.” Or “He’s a really sweet guy.” That’s like the kiss of death, right? Yes, looks are important when you first meet someone, especially in a man’s eyes. However, the perception of beauty is subjective and we can change people’s perceptions. God has failed us in the looks department, but we can make up for it with clever techniques that can improve your intended person’s first impression (such as your body language, self-image and communication skills) much more effectively than makeup.
What do we think looks good? Standards vary from culture to culture. In the United States, slim is fashionable. This is not true for Bolivian Hierono women, who gorge themselves on food in order to grow into round, fat women that men can hold in their arms. American men prefer to kiss lips with gentle curves like the bow of Cupid, the god of love. And for the African Ubangi women, they stuffed plates into their mouths, hoping to stretch their lips into a pie shape.
There are all kinds of aesthetic standards that prevail around the world, but one thing remains constant. The instinct to reproduce plays an important role in our judgment of what is beautiful and what is not. Even in today’s America, women love the strongest men because they look like good and considerate breadwinners. Men are most attracted to sexy women because they can produce healthy children. The research will tell us exactly what is fashionable.
Here is a study in which researchers found that women’s favorite faces of men are the following.
Men who get women’s attention have looks that inspire maternal emotions in women; are sexually mature and have dominant personalities; are sociable and approachable; and are in high positions of power ……
Men with a blend of characteristics are most attractive, such as having big eyes (like a teenager), prominent cheekbones and a wide chin (appearing mature), wearing an easy smile (being expressive), and wearing expensive clothing (high social status).
What kind of body shape do women love most? American women usually prefer a man with a moderate physique, but with a stronger upper body than a stronger lower body. Studies have found that women prefer an inverted triangle body shape to a pear-shaped body. However, women from different walks of life have different tastes in men’s bodies. Women at the lower end of the socioeconomic totem pole prefer muscular men. In contrast, high-earning professional women find large, athletic male models off-putting and favor dark-skinned, lean and responsive physiques.
What about height? Some people assume that taller is better because our culture celebrates taller bodies. In fact, almost every U.S. president elected since 1900 has been the taller of the two contenders. According to the Wall Street Journal, college graduates of great stature (188 centimeters and taller) earn higher starting salaries than those who are less than 183 centimeters tall. However, in the arena of sex, it is clear that taller is not better. A group of women of various heights (including petite, medium and long) rated a group of men who were equal in every way except height, and the medium-sized man won.
When the researchers asked the men what kind of looks they liked in women, the men’s answers were always less than clear. The typical response was, “The, ah, you know, (mumble and mumble again) uh, pretty woman.” However, a group of daring scientists set out on a difficult study to see what makes a woman pretty in the eyes of the average man.
Yes, leanness undoubtedly equals pretty, and that’s especially true for women. The researchers analyzed a number of ads from single people seeking friends and found that among the 28 attractive characteristics, men valued slimness the most. However, men of different classes and personalities have different views on this. Men with extroverted personality and lower social class choose women with fat breasts and buttocks, while men with introverted personality and higher level choose women with slim body shape.
The experiment selected a group of men from different classes and showed them some nude photos, the picture of women with full breasts and are posed on the calendar provocative; at the same time, the researchers also gave them to see some modestly dressed beauty photos. When the researchers asked these men are willing to spend the night with which women, the results were not expected; but when asked which women they are willing to choose as wives, both upper-class or lower-class men have chosen conservatively dressed women, many upper-class men are even more willing to bed with a well-dressed lady (or in the back seat of a Mercedes-Benz rendezvous).
Unfortunately, the study is not very thought-provoking in terms of what faces men love most. It may be that, like other aspects of life, men don’t pay as much attention to detail as women do.
There was a time when our culture was obsessed with symmetry. Not anymore, though. In days gone by, within the same race, men wanted women to be as light-skinned as possible; women wanted the opposite, with darker-skinned men scoring highest. But the melting pot that is America is boiling over faster and faster, and the old blonde, angel-faced beauty standards are changing at a rapid pace, and many of today’s top beauties have become very different from the traditional beauty standards. Now, beauty from people of color is all the rage. Fortunately, if you weren’t born beautiful, you can get it, too, with just a little bit of brains, some imagination and a makeup kit.
The only thing we can generalize about looks is that men and women love those with clean skin, slender bodies, shiny hair and bright eyes. In other words, we all love healthy people.
Beauty is not an objective existence. Just as the soft whisper of the leaves in the forest must be heard in order to be listened to, so beauty must be seen in order to be appreciated. Beauty is an opinion, a subjective judgment. Without getting into hair, clothing and makeup (I’ll devote another book to these topics), here are just a few tips to help you change the way you look to the person you want to meet.
While I was researching looks, a friend sent me a video of a past episode of a TV show where the topic of physical attraction was discussed. In one segment, a stunning woman (an actress hired by ABC) was standing by the side of the highway with a car presumably broken down beside her. Passing cars and trucks squealed to a halt, and men risked their lives at the wheel by running across four lanes of traffic to help the damsel in distress. A few men got into a fight as they grabbed gas for her car.
In the next video, another actress stands by the side of the highway, wearing the same dress, next to the same broken down car. However, this woman is not so beautiful or at least the producers of the show think she is not so beautiful. Did the passing car brake for an emergency? Did the men cross the lane to help her? No, cars sped by one after another. One or two cars slowed down, but when the drivers saw her dignity, they sped away. One car did stop, but the male driver simply pointed her in the direction of the gas station and told her to get her own gas.