Making love with women is more like art than science. So like every great artist, you need a little inspiration before you start. You need to remember that the average time it takes for a woman to have an orgasm through masturbation is 10 minutes. That’s the same amount of time it takes for men. Isn’t that very surprising? In other words, women don’t need endless foreplay, and neither do men. When women masturbate, they don’t need to light candles or put on some romantic music and take a long time to reach orgasm again. As long as she has a sexual desire and you have some skills, you can easily please your partner. Every sexual encounter does not need to be as formal as a four-course meal. In the following sections, we’ll show you some different sex techniques that you can think of as a buffet, offering your partner a few different meals each time.
Most importantly, sex should bring pleasure to both of you. You don’t need to be stressed at all, let alone anxious about your performance. You also don’t need to worry about whether she’s excited enough or whether you’re erect enough. In any case, you will always have some interesting sexual activities. All you can do is enjoy your partner during sex, and enjoy yourself. If you enjoy it, she will enjoy it too. And vice versa. That’s the best part of sex, she’s good for you and you’re good for her.
Fluttering Heart When a woman is turned on by a man’s appearance, she is also ignited by his words, his actions, his attitude towards her and his touch. If a man is a pornographic movie, then a woman will behave like one too. Sex is more like a story to a woman. You have to remember that you have to write a story in her mind, a story about you and her and how you create passion. This is how you have to understand sex. Sex begins when you hold her hand, kiss her on the lips, or even the moment you open the door for her. Long before you go to bed, she’s already built up the anticipation of sex from every move she makes. You can tweet, suggest, flirt, and create a sense of possibility and inevitability. Even partners in long-term relationships need to use some techniques to ignite the passion between them before they go to bed.
Why do this? It’s because of the effects of dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical that is secreted by the reward system in the brain and primarily affects the nervous system. Dopamine gives you a sense that something good is about to happen. The reward that people anticipate is an experience, and there is no better experience than good sex. It’s all about craving. The more aroused she is, the more dopamine she produces; the more dopamine she produces, the more she desires something. In this case, what she craves is you, which is why anticipation is so important. Anticipation makes the brain desire to find something. We’re not suggesting that you and your partner play house and try to get your partner to anticipate your next tweet or your next kiss. Creativity can also stimulate dopamine production, so if you can make sex fun instead of always repeating the same play, all the better. Dopamine is about what people crave. You crave her, and she craves you.
The sexy soul
The eyes are the key to intimacy and great sex. When two people look into each other’s eyes, a social bond is created between them. There are few things more intimate than gazing deeply into each other’s eyes. We’re not talking about the stalker gaze, we’re talking about gazing passionately and lovingly into a woman’s eyes.
The key to gazing at each other is to smile. Smiling is the human gesture that best demonstrates intent. Remember what we said before, we want to make a woman feel safe. Your smile makes her feel safe and tells her that you don’t mean any harm. But you can’t fake a smile. If you just turn up the corners of your mouth, you will only look intimidating because your partner can tell the difference between a real smile and a fake one. The real smile is in the corners of your eyes, not the corners of your mouth. The real smile, also known as the Duchene smile, was first discovered by a French anatomist. The only way to smile for real is to think about how much you love and appreciate your partner. Whether you are in love with the partner you are with now, or you and your beloved have been together for 50 years, you need to look at her with joy and be excited about all that you are doing together. If you can’t honestly generate these emotions of joy and excitement, you might want to think about what you’re really doing right now. In pornographic movies, people don’t look at each other with affection because they are just helping each other masturbate. It’s a great way to spend time, but it’s never going to be the best sex for you and her. Once you’ve established trust and connection, you’ll be ready to kiss her.
Tantrums In the movie “Boyhood” by Richard Linklater, the hero is a restaurant handyman and dishwasher. One day, he flirts with a co-worker who clearly says, “I am not going to kiss you. As she leaves the kitchen, she turns her head and says, “But that doesn’t mean I can’t do it any other way.” Does this really mean that times have changed? Maybe so, but kissing is indeed a more intimate act. In their 2014 book, The Normal Bar, researchers conducted a cross-national study covering 70,000 volunteers. The study showed that people in good partnerships kissed each other regularly and passionately, and touched each other often, usually without erotic connotations; they also hugged each other, complimented each other, communicated more often, and gave each other gifts, and they maintained good relationships. This also confirms our theory that every positive thing you do for each other can play a role in foreplay.
According to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, kissing is also a central part of “partner evaluation”. People often say how well they hit it off when they kiss. Kissing is also physiologically important because saliva contains testosterone, so kissing may enhance a partner’s sexual desire. Men prefer wet kisses to women, which may mean that they want more than just a kiss, but have longer-term goals. But we recommend that you don’t push too hard on your tongue and saliva, and most importantly, that you never drool while kissing. You want to lightly touch her lips and the corners of her mouth at times, and open your mouth to kiss her passionately at other times, so that it will be more varied and she won’t feel like you’re trying to drown her by kissing her.
Your lips and tongue are two of the most powerful sexual organs that you can surround her with your love and your kisses. Women, like men, want their bodies to be accepted, loved, and even worshipped by each other. There is nothing better than kissing her and obsessing over every inch of her body to make her feel your affection.
Kissing the back of her neck is an extra intimate gesture. Because when she exposes her neck to you, she is extremely vulnerable and susceptible to attack. As we discussed in the previous section, when a woman exposes her neck, it means that she is interested in you. At this point, you should respond to her trust by kissing her neck passionately.
Your touch is full of power
You don’t need to use your tongue to do all the seduction work. You have 10 “little tongues” to help you, and if you use them properly, they are the equivalent of 10 “little penises,” which are your 10 fingers. Soft and suggestive strokes, teasing her skin, all with strong sexual connotations. You can certainly experiment with different strokes, from awakening her skin to massaging her muscles.
You have to be very careful about stroking her nipples. A woman’s nipples are a very strong sexual sensitivity zone and a place where she has many emotional connections. It is best for you to approach her breasts gently, as this will build her anticipation of good sex and make her understand that you are not just using the nipples as a switch for her sexual desires. In fact, you should not try to control her libido with your nipples, nor should you grab her breasts and make sounds like when you honk a car horn, let alone bury your head in her breasts and make a motorboat roar unless you want to be kicked out of bed by her. You want to cherish her breasts.
Most men have basically the same foreplay, but skilled sex masters don’t follow any one set process. You have to be open-minded and more creative, exploring more of the different parts of her body to see which ones stimulate her more. That’s the effect you want. A woman’s desire is fascinating, and you need to allow yourself to match her sexual arousal process, not just focus on you. Physical communication is like an intimate conversation, a two-way street.
When you are really thinking about her, you should then take a gentler action. The clitoris has the highest concentration of nerve endings, even more than any other nerve endings in your body. So many nerve endings are concentrated in a piece of skin that is smaller than the tip of your pinky finger. In a nutshell, it’s like putting a Roman firework tube on an area the size of a pea. You’re better off using your lips rather than your fingers to stimulate your clitoris, because lips are more gentle and delicate.
Enjoy the pleasure
Remember the theory of anticipation mentioned earlier. Tease her. Seduce her. You have to remember that the frequency of sex in porn movies will only be a frequency that gives men a stroke, that is more like the rhythm of masturbation. In real sex, the best way to bring her a deeper experience is to use a gentle, slow rhythm.
You want to find a rhythm that works well for both partners and to observe her reactions. But remember you are not just an observer, you should feel your own excitement and pleasure while watching her reaction. Your pleasure can also make her more excited.
A good man wants his partner to be satisfied too, and most men do. A survey covering 4,000 men showed that 80% of men judge their sexual satisfaction by whether their partner can achieve one or two orgasms. But in real life, only 25% of women (or even less) can achieve orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. So even if she can’t have a vaginal orgasm, you shouldn’t take it personally, it’s not your problem. Sadly, about 10 to 15 percent of women never experience orgasm. As long as you can build a connection and trust with her, then you’ve succeeded. Even though some women can’t have an orgasm, they can still enjoy the pleasure of sex, so you can still be a success in this area. This doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy sex, she just can’t orgasm.
Sex isn’t over when you or she climaxes. Although men naturally want to sleep immediately after ejaculation, she may need to continue after you have climaxed, or perhaps want to climax again, so you can continue to please her. Of course, if you are a man who can have multiple orgasms and your penis is still in an erect state, then you can continue to satisfy her. A man can have an orgasm before he ejaculates, or even without ejaculating. This is called male multiple orgasm. William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian of the Center for the Study of Marriage and Sexuality have studied multiple orgasms in men specifically. They studied 33 men who had multiple orgasms and whose penises remained erect after more than two orgasmic experiences. If you can have multiple orgasms, then you can certainly make the most of her sexual experience, especially if she can also experience multiple orgasms. If you are not able to have multiple orgasms, then you will have a period of inactivity after you have ejaculated. No matter how much she stimulates you, you won’t get another erection. Most men have an average of half an hour’s withdrawal period. a young man of 18 can have a withdrawal period of about 15 minutes, while men over 70 can have a withdrawal period of up to 20 hours, sometimes even longer.
The time after sex is a huge source of pleasure for women. After sex, they still want to stay close to their partner and want their significant other to continue to touch her, hold her hand gently, or hug her. A great lover will never neglect this time. Even a few minutes of caressing will give her a very good experience and allow you to connect with her more closely. Yes, you may want to pass out immediately. That’s fine. But all you have to do is wrap your arms around her and do nothing to make her feel safe and loved.
Hold her hand. Hold her hand before, during and after sex. Hold her hand on a date; hold her hand after marriage. Hold her hand whether she feels sad, happy, scared or mad. Hold her hand even when she feels she is not worthy of your love. Go and hold her hand every time she needs it, and you will be the best lover she’ll ever have.
It’s that simple.