How would you feel if you were confessed?
For many people, being confessed is originally a very happy thing, but when the other party is someone you do not love, this confession will become a burden.
However, do not think there will be no harm if you do not reject, in fact, the wrong acceptance than the rejection itself is more harmful to people, not only will hurt each other, but also hurt themselves. In fact, rejection at this point is like a giant comb that can quickly straighten out a messy day and restore clarity to the sky.
Therefore, if you don’t love, reject.
Intolerance of rejection is also a kind of cruelty
Don’t be intolerant, your intolerance can only make the other party fall deeper and deeper, when you want to pull away, you also become enemies. When a person you do not love to show you love, you should be brave enough to refuse, otherwise it will also bring harm to yourself.
So, we should be brave enough to say no to “no love”.
How to refuse the advances of someone you don’t like and say no to “no love
When you encounter this situation, you can try the following methods.
1. Think differently, to maintain each other’s self-esteem
Imagine, when you confess to the object of your choice, your mood must be apprehensive, you will be very afraid of the other party to reject themselves, have great expectations of their love. Through this kind of transposition, we can feel the mood and pressure of the other party when confessing to us.
Therefore, when rejecting each other, we must maintain each other’s self-esteem and pay attention to each other’s feelings.
You can first praise each other’s character and talent, etc., and then explain why you can not accept each other’s advances; the reasons given should be reasonable, and it is best to put forward favorable aspects from each other’s point of view, so that the other party recognized; if you have to make explanations to each other, you may wish to attribute negative reasons to yourself.
2. to have a reasonable reason for refusal Harvard social psychologists have revealed the automatic response pattern of human beings through an experiment.
When people are waiting in line to use the photocopier in the library –
Someone says, “I’m so sorry, I have five pages to print. Since I’m in a bit of a hurry, can I use the photocopier first?”
94% of the people agreed to his request.
And someone said, “I’m so sorry, I have five pages to print. Can I use the copier first?”
Only 60 percent agreed.
In contrast, the key difference between the two requests seems to be that the first one gave a reason – “I’m in a bit of a hurry. It is a well-known principle of human behavior that when we need help, we have a better chance of success if we can give a reason.
Because people simply like to have a reason for doing things, we need a reason when we ask for help, and we need a reason when we refuse someone.
You need a reason to convince someone, and that reason must not be your “feelings”. The same goes for rejecting someone’s confession of love. There must be a good and appropriate reason, and the highest goal is that the other person will accept and approve of it.
In addition to “I already have a male (female) friend” this justifiable reason, you can think of a reason to reject from the other side’s point of view by thinking differently, but must be reasonable. This reason must be no ambiguity, no controversy, can be presented specifically, the best at a glance.
3. To choose the right time to refuse
Psychologists believe that after a person reacts to a stimulus for a certain amount of time, he or she will not react again, even if the stimulus is given again. Therefore, after a person confesses, he will be in the state of eagerly waiting for the other party to reply, it is the time when the outflow of psychological information and psychological stimulation is extremely strong. So, at this time, do not immediately throw cold water on him, you can tell him that you need time to think about, and at the same time to keep each other calm. After that, wait for the other party’s psychological state is more stable before refusing, so that the other party can be psychologically prepared.
Generally speaking, do not refuse immediately when the other party has just confessed, because it is difficult for the other party to accept; but also can not delay too long, so as not to cause misunderstanding to the other party.
4. Language must be polite, attitude must be firm
In expressing their ideas, language should be polite. Think about it, the other party but at the risk of being hurt self-esteem to your confession, even if you do not like, but also to smile and refuse. Do not be cynical and hurt the person who confessed to you. You can try to affirm the other person, based on the reasons and reasons for refusal.
At the same time, the attitude must be firm. Rejection is inevitably hurtful, but you should not hesitate because of it. Since the person who is in love with you, he or she will be very sensitive to your words and actions. If your refusal is not firm enough, it is easy to cause misunderstanding of the other party, especially when the other party is in a situation of deep love for you, your attitude out of courtesy or to save each other’s face will make the other party feel that you also love him/her or make him/her feel that there is still hope, and this treatment often brings more harm than refusal. Therefore, do not hesitate, not to mention sway from side to side.
5. to reject each other this thing as a secret to keep
After a person’s confession is rejected, will feel lost, sad, no face, serious people will even be devastated. The person who was confessed at this time should keep the secret for the confessor, do not take this matter as their own bragging capital, and do not talk about this matter everywhere, so that the attention of outsiders to the confessor brought secondary psychological damage.
6. pay attention to each other’s emotional state, protect yourself
Many people tend to be sad and lost after the rejection of a confession, and then only slowly recover. But there are some people who will make unexpected moves after a rejection, such as injury or self-harm.
Therefore, when you want to reject a person’s confession, the first thing to do is to protect yourself. If the other person is usually a paranoid stalker, and its meeting you should choose a more crowded public places. If the other party is sensitive by nature, you should pay more attention to the method of the problem, must be thoughtful and reasonable refusal, to avoid stimulating the other party and lead to malicious events. At the same time, you should pay close attention to the other party’s emotional state of change, in time to take precautions.
Other people have the power to confess, and you also have the power to refuse. Reluctantly accept a person you do not love, such feelings are generally not too long. Therefore, we must learn to say “no” to unrequited love.
(1) If you don’t love, you should be brave enough to refuse, because “intolerance” is a kind of cruelty.
(2) reject each other, must pay attention not to hurt each other’s self-esteem, choose the right time and place, with a clear and resolute attitude to each other a reason to refuse; at the same time in the rejection of each other to pay attention to protect their own safety, to avoid the occurrence of malignant events.