Love is a verb, and love needs to be expressed in the right way on the right occasion, and love is never something that is given in silence and alone. The expression of love is the pivot of a relationship.
Emotion is the principle of expressing love
The feelings of both parties are the basis for a successful confession, therefore, the basic principle of expressing love is to have certain feelings for each other. So how can you know if the other person has a crush on you?
Before you confess your love to a person, you can review how you get along with each other.
1. When two people are together, does he/she appear pleasant, soothing and happy to spend time with you?
2. Is he/she willing to approach you and pay more attention to you when someone else approaches him/her at the same time as you?
3. When you talk to him/her about your ideals, aspirations and views on life, is he/she interested and will he/she resonate with you?
4. When you take the initiative to approach him/her, is his/her attitude enthusiastic and positive, without showing cold, negative or perfunctory emotions?
If the answer to these questions is “no”, it means that the two of you do not have deep feelings, you confess to him / her is not yet ripe, so it is not easy to rush. If the answer to these points is “yes”, then it shows that he / she also has some feelings for you, you can try it.
Close the psychological distance of “love”
After knowing that the other party also has the same good feelings as they do, what do we do next?
This time, we have to do is to close the psychological distance between each other “love”.
1. The principle of simple contact
What to do when you have a sweetheart? How to make each other also like themselves? The first move is to meet frequently. If your sweetheart is a schoolmate, you can find ways to integrate into his / her social circle; if your sweetheart is a colleague in the workplace, you can adjust your commuting time in line with each other, and strive to travel together. The most important point is to meet more often.
Although this one is simple, but it is very effective. This is because people are easily attracted to people or things that they come into contact with many times, which is called the “mere contact principle” in psychology. American psychologist Robert Zaines (Robert Zajonc) has done an experiment, he gave the subjects to see some randomly selected photos of the opposite sex face, some photos were shown several times, some only once, the results found that the subjects are more interested in looking at the face more. So, if you have a sweetheart, you have to be in front of him/her as much as possible.
2. Factor of proximity
If you like a person, and want to win each other’s favor, in addition to meet frequently, it is best to meet when you can shorten the physical distance between each other, often appear in front of him / her. American psychologists have done – an experiment, let a man talk with two women at the same time, one of the women is only 0.5 meters away from the man, while the other woman is 2.4 meters away from the man. The psychologists wanted to study the connection between distance and good feelings. It turned out that the man was more attracted to the woman who was closer to him, and the woman was also attracted to the man. This shows that people are more likely to be attracted to people who are close to them, and psychology calls this phenomenon the “proximity factor”.
3. The law of familiarity
Simply by looking at each other a few more times, the distance is closer, you can improve the feelings between each other. If you can get to know each other, the feeling between each other will be further deepened. This is called the “law of familiarity” in psychology. For example, an office colleague, due to work together every day, gradually familiar with each other, “what he likes to eat”, “she is not good at doing what” and so on have to understand. After mutual understanding, it is easy to have a good feeling between each other.
If you want to close the psychological distance between each other, there is another way, that is to confide in each other their secrets or talk about private topics. When the other party understands some of the secrets you have never mentioned to others, the other party’s affection for you will immediately heat up. This practice is called “self confession”.
According to psychological research, people are easily attracted to each other after receiving self confessions from others. If you can learn to self confession, not only can reduce their own backlog of too many secrets brought about by the psychological pressure, but also to win the goodwill of others, may also be able to harvest a good love.
The way to express love
In the “love” between each other after the psychological distance is constantly drawn closer, we can express their love to each other. There are many forms of expression of love, what should be the correct way to open the confession?
Next, we briefly introduce several common ways of confession.
1. Direct type
The direct way of confessing your love to the other person without any concealment. The direct expression can be divided into five steps: the first step is to unconsciously recount the facts, such as “it’s a beautiful day” and other words, which can relax both sides; the second step is to talk about something of interest to the other side, to attract their attention and interest; the third step is to ask the other side about the situation, such as “how have you been? How are you?” The fourth step is to “show up” to the other side, talk about yourself, to draw the other side’s attention to themselves, to pave the way for the later confession; the fifth step is to express your love, because with the previous steps as a basis, direct confession will not catch the other side off guard.
If you are embarrassed to speak directly, we may wish to take a euphemistic and roundabout way. For example, it is said that during a date, Max said with a sad face: “I am in love with a girl, ready to get married, I do not know if she agrees?” Yanni was shocked: “You have a girlfriend?” “Yes, I’ve known her for a long time, and here’s a picture of her.” Yanni trembled and opened the small wooden box that Max handed her, and was stunned – there was a mirror inside, and the person in it was herself, and she pounced on Max with joy. This is the only way we can use it if we have a sure win.
3. Suggestive style
In many cases, it is difficult for the confessor to understand the other person’s mind, so in order to avoid embarrassment, he often adopts a tentative way to express his feelings indirectly and politely, which is the suggestive confession. For example, you can give your loved one “forget-me-not” or “red beans”. In life, more often than not, courtship is through verbal hints, such as a woman’s courtship letter is written: “I heard that you have a lot of red beans over there, can you bring me some? I’m looking forward to hearing from you.” The red beans are a token of love, but what the woman wants is not the red beans, but the love they represent. She politely expresses love, while testing the other party’s feelings.
4. Dating style
This is a common method that people use. People can invite their beloved to go to the movies, shopping, etc. Generally speaking, sensitive people will detect the signal of love from the date. If the first time the other party does not understand, you can go on a second or third date with the other party.
The above briefly introduced several common ways to express love, you can refer to, but the reality is not only these types of confessions. Everyone should choose the right way for themselves, feelings are the basis of confession, and sincerity is the first prerequisite for confession.
You express love in a way that can accurately reach each other’s hearts and be accepted by the other party is the best and most appropriate way. Based on feelings, after gradually drawing closer to each other “love” psychological distance, choose the right way to confess their feelings to get sublimated.
(1) feelings are the basis of confession. When the feelings of each other is not deep enough, it is not the time to confess. The expression of love needs to choose a favorable time, the two sides have a certain emotional foundation, bold and direct confession is appropriate.
(2) If you do not dare to directly express their love for each other, you can try to close the psychological distance between each other through more contact in daily life, close communication, strengthening each other’s understanding of themselves and confiding in each other, thus enhancing their confidence in confession.
(3) Choose the most suitable way of confession to ensure that your love reaches the other person’s heart accurately, thus enhancing the possibility of your acceptance by the other person.
— EOF —