When it comes to love in middle age, people generally feel warm and fuzzy because love may have turned into affection. Middle-aged people have a different view of love than their youth, without the requirement for that hazy heartfelt feeling. The feelings of middle-aged people are less passionate and more attached; less romantic and more responsible; less fantasy and more trivial of firewood, rice, oil and salt. At the same time, they also have to undergo the test of “mid-life crisis”, “seven-year itch”, “love boredom” may also come rushing
The middle age is not only a continuation of youth, but also a transition period towards old age, when various parts of the body gradually undergo degenerative changes and the functions of internal organs begin to weaken. In particular, cells, known as the bricks of the body, begin to divide and regenerate less, and their functions begin to decline. Scientists estimate that the body loses about 0.8% of its functions every year after the age of 30. Therefore, many new physiological characteristics appear in middle-aged people.
1. Changes in physical appearance
After the age of 30, the basal metabolic rate decreases by 0.5% per year on average, and the quantity and quality of food eaten tend to be higher, resulting in fat accumulation and weight gain; hair gradually turns gray and thins out, and the skin on the face, neck, arms, etc. gradually becomes rough.
2. The brain and internal organs also gradually degenerate
The neurological and mental activities of middle-aged people are more stable, but due to the reduced blood flow through the brain, the amount of ribonucleic acid used to synthesize brain proteins is basically at a standstill in the neural tissue, which slows down the nerve conduction speed, decreases mechanical memory and slows down the reaction. For the digestive organs, the gastrointestinal mucosa becomes thinner, the muscle fibers become less elastic, the secretion of gastric acid and digestive enzymes decreases, and the digestive function is reduced. The large intestine is sluggishly sensed and intestinal peristalsis is weakened. In terms of cardiopulmonary function, the autoregulation of the heart gradually decreases after middle age, and the amount of cardiac blood output decreases by about 30% in 50 years from the age of 30 to 80.
3. Sexual changes
Couples entering middle age will experience changes in their bodies, lifestyles and sexual desires. This change is gradual and insidious. Men’s libido starts to decline after 35 years old, the interest in sex, requirements and frequency are significantly reduced. At the same time, due to work strain, the whole body blood flow is slow, muscle tone is reduced, causing some obstacles to the couple sex. And women are the opposite of men, women are usually first in the hazy stage, then mature, become more active, after menopause, the interest in sexual life is greatly reduced.
4. Special stage – menopause
Menopause refers to the period when an individual’s physiological changes and psychological state change significantly during the transition from middle age to old age. Menopause is the beginning of the aging process in life and is the second adolescence. Menopause in women occurs between the ages of 45 and 55 and generally lasts from 8 to 12 years. During this period, women’s secondary sexual characteristics gradually deteriorate, their reproductive organs slowly atrophy, and tissues related to estrogen metabolism gradually degenerate, resulting in symptoms of disorders of the vegetative nervous system, often referred to as “women’s menopause syndrome. Male menopause is the period when the sexual organs begin to atrophy and sexual function changes from vigorous to declining. During this period, middle-aged men often show changes in their mental state and emotions, accompanied by dysfunction of the vegetative circulation, easy fatigue, and reduced sexual function.
1. introspection is becoming more and more obvious
According to Jung’s theory, from youth to old age, the personality becomes more and more introverted from the youthful extroversion, that is, people are no longer as impulsive and daring as when they were young, but the focus of attention is on the inner world. The basic stereotype of personality traits is a major manifestation of the psychological maturity of middle-aged people. At this time, people learn the lessons of past successes and failures and maintain a balance of personal mental state to adapt to the needs of society and the environment.
2. Psychological defense mechanism is becoming more mature
More and more middle-aged people, when facing setbacks or conflicts, adopt more mature psychological defense mechanisms such as humor, sublimation and altruism, and rarely adopt negative defense mechanisms such as denial, distortion and regression. Emotions tend to be stable, have the ability to delay reactions to stimuli, and are able to control and regulate their emotions in most situations according to the objective context.
3. Become more rounded in dealing with others
Middle-aged people are not as rigid as when they were young, but more flexible in understanding and dealing with problems. Their social behavior in dealing with others in the world tends to be more competent and open-minded. They are able to adapt to the environment and grasp it, accept criticism and different opinions, and adjust their behavior according to the correct opinions.
4. Continuous improvement of intelligence
Although the single mental ability of middle-aged people is also in the process of gradual decline, the sum of their total mental activity ability continues to develop and mature. The main manifestations are the ability to observe and think independently, the ability to solve problems independently, emotional stability, clear self-awareness, energy, rich emotions, quick thinking, accurate judgment, high intelligence, concentration, and the ability to adapt to and grasp the environment.
5. Strong will
Middle-aged people have a clear sense of self, understand their own talents and their social status, and are good at deciding what they say and do, doing something and not doing something. They are not discouraged and do not retreat when they encounter difficulties and setbacks, and they have the ability to overcome difficulties and overcome difficulties with tolerance and endurance. When the objective possibility of achieving a goal is lost, the person is able to adjust the goal rationally and make a more appropriate choice to achieve it.
6. Increasing integration of gender roles in midlife
Middle-aged men gradually show female characteristics such as tenderness, sensitivity, and consideration on the basis of male personality, while middle-aged women gradually show male characteristics such as decisiveness, generosity, and initiative, i.e., there is a trend of “feminization” of men and “masculinization” of women. This trend of “assimilation” is generally regarded as a “perfect personality”.
Psychological characteristics of love
When people reach middle age, they are given certain responsibilities by society and family due to the change of social roles. Therefore, the passion for love is not as fervent as in young people, but has a deeper nature. For most middle-aged lovers, especially after gradually shifting their emotional focus to their children, the love between them seems to be somewhat diluted.
1. Love becomes a part of life
Love in middle age is a part of daily life, closely linked to their family and social environment, and they cannot treat love with the same fervor as they did in their youth. After entering middle age, the passionate love is transformed into a stable mood, which is the natural law of love life, and their love shows deep characteristics and has a higher level.
2. Give more understanding and consideration to each other
Men tend to miss their single life in their humdrum daily life, while women often miss their sweet first love. These are the natural reactions of middle-aged men and women facing love, but they understand each other and are considerate of each other, so that they can further feel the warmth of family.
3. constantly update the content of life to stimulate love
Couples who enter the maturity stage begin to distinguish between sexual desire requirements and emotional requirements. At this time, men, their age, work responsibilities and family burdens are beginning to conflict with their sexual desires. Therefore, in order to keep love fresh, both parties will skillfully use the little things in life to stimulate each other’s feelings, such as intimate smiles, moderate jealousy, and show love from the little things in life.
4. Love and reproduction meet
Erikson called the psychological conflict of middle age “reproduction versus stagnation”, reproduction is to help and nurture the next generation to connect with others, which is also a reflection of having more intimate relationships with lovers. At this stage, the lovers form an active identity, i.e., they live a happy life and pass on their love and intimacy to the next generation through activities such as reproduction, education of offspring, and production and creation. Love is a prerequisite for trust and loyalty between the two lovers, because with love comes the idea and action of reproducing and raising the next generation together.
When people reach middle age, their happiness decreases significantly because they have to face various troubles and pressures. The happiness of middle-aged people is the worst, and they start to experience a “crisis” around the age of 44, and their happiness drops to the lowest point around the age of 44, which is called the “mid-life crisis”.
This is the so-called “midlife crisis. However, a survey of the United States and the United Kingdom found that women and men experience mid-life crisis at different stages, with women’s mid-life crisis generally coming in their 40s and men not experiencing it until their 50s.
What is a mid-life crisis? It is a psychological feeling: restlessness, despair, helplessness, frustration, fear, worry, and even beginning to doubt that your life is meaningless. It generates all kinds of confusion and even causes family crisis and career decline. At this stage, it is easy for both men and women to develop the psychology of “love boredom”.
Many people have this experience, if people are exposed to the same thing for a long time or engaged in the same work, it will produce a sense of fatigue. Even a very beautiful painting, a very beautiful music, repeatedly look, repeatedly listen to will feel boring. When people reach middle age, the attraction between husband and wife decreases, and the discord between husband and wife becomes more and more serious. Each other in the thought of incompatibility, no common interest, and even seem to be separated from each other, the same bed, and even separation, divorce.
The harm caused by disharmony is so great that both spouses are physically harmed by bad emotions and are vulnerable to disease. Discord, endless arguments and conflicts within the family make many middle-aged couples unable to take into account the upbringing and education of their children, which is very detrimental to the physical and mental health of the children. If a middle-aged couple finds signs of a “mid-life crisis”, they must deal with it as soon as possible.
(1) In middle age, love may become affection, mutual tolerance between partners, mutual understanding, full of warm love.
(2) The love of the middle age will suffer a “mid-life crisis”, “love burnout” psychology, the attraction between the couple is reduced, the couple may not show more and more serious relationship.
(3) The love in the middle age has lost its passion and gradually tends to become dull, partners can cope with the “love crisis” by “learning to think differently”, “don’t be too clingy, give each other some space”, “give each other small surprises, increase the sense of life rituals ” and other ways to deal with “love burnout”.
— EOF —